I have been on a fairly progressive road to recovery the past few weeks. I have been able to do loads of work again, but the old foot is still very sore and swells up easily. Walking is getting easier and I don’t need the crutches anymore, except when I first get up out of bed. The body is taking a bit of strain too in other areas, like the hips, the knee on my right leg and for some reason the muscles in certain areas of my back. Is it perhaps just age?

It feels good to be productive again, even with the pain. But there is still a point that I reach and that then is enough for the day. I truly miss the time I had to myself, and I have realized how stressful and irritating my regular day job is. I really didn’t miss certain people and processes, but reality is a bitch, and sadly she is back full time. I have realized how unbalanced my life is, and sadly I think that is the case for many people. Don’t get me wrong, like everybody else, I’m grateful for my job and that I can work, but what about my mental health? What about time for family? Time for doing things I enjoy? As an employee, this sadly is my reality, in that those pleasures are limited. I have found writing about things that get to me really helps relieve my stress and anxiety, but anybody can read this and so I suppose I should be careful about venting my work frustrations to loudly.

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One thing that does feel good is the fact that being back more regularly, I see how the people at my work actually rely on me. People continuously asking for help and advice shows that perhaps I am pretty good at my job. Either that or they too damn lazy to learn for themselves. So maybe I was missed. But that’s enough tooting of my own horn.

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Hopefully the side business I got going with my wife will pick up more. Its been quite interesting trying our hand at a side hustle. But I think I am starting to see why people give up. Its not easy or fast, and you do feel disheartened. But I think this is the part that you have to struggle through and will hopefully start to see the rewards. DONT GIVE UP!! Influencers and mega stars make it seem so easy, but that’s because they have a big following, and sadly, the regular person will jump onboard with whatever their idols are hip towards. But for the average joe like me, I have to build a following and let people see what we have. Another down side, or what may seem like a down side, is our honesty. I don’t want to lie about what we have to offer just to get people to purchase. I prefer the ethical approach. So that side of it may then take even longer. But I do feel it will be worth it. If you have an interest in wellness, anti-aging and care products from a scientifically proven supplier check out our online store. https://sunshinesammy.mynuskin.com PUNT PUNT! If you see something you like, let us know and we can hopefully hook you up, and even get you a discount. And if you want to create a side income, get in touch and we can talk about it.

I have been toying with the idea of writing a story. A novel. But I get very self conscious, and worry that people will judge me for how my mind works. Mainly because I was taught at school that the best way you can write about something is to write from personal experience. But a good story can also be made up. Now if you combine the two, how will people know what is fact or fiction, and possibly judge you on the incorrect side of your writing. I have definitely experienced some dodgy shit in my time. But that could also be the fun in it, leaving it to peoples imagination and keep them guessing as to what is your story or what you have in fact made up.

I consider myself a dreamer and so I feel that a novel could go down quite well. I also suffer with anxiety because I create crazy scenarios in my head and get stressed and start worrying about shit that has not even happened and most likely wont even happen, but feels real in my mind. So perhaps I should use that wonderful power of creating and just go with it. Let that be my guide. Try to channel all that worry and doom into a story, some how. It is a challenge, perhaps I can accept it and smash it. I suppose like most things, I will need a plan, or a plot, and take it from there. Time will tell.

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Other than my frustrations and anxiety, life in New Zealand is going well. In comparison to many places around the world, I would say we are blessed. Hopefully some sort of control can be gained on this virus that is smashing the world. The Olympics certainly was very different. Its the one time I enjoy watching multiple sports. In honesty, I really didn’t expect some of the outcomes, for example the mens 100m final winner. And some of the last minute entrants that grasped their opportunity with both hands and ended up with medals. Good on you! It must be really strange for the athletes to try and perform, because surely the atmosphere of a huge crowd would get the adrenalin flowing and aid in performance. But to compete with hardly any spectators, must be a strange feeling.

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For anybody who has enjoyed my past writings, I’m sorry that its been a while. Again normal everyday life takes over and doesn’t allow to much time to do what you like, and that’s my perfectly good excuse for not supplying literary pleasure for a while. Thanks for all the recent follows, I hope to not disappoint, but infact to still bring a sense of support to people out there who may feel like they are alone in their thoughts, feelings and concerns. Believe me you are not alone. You wouldn’t believe some of the shit that goes through my mind. In the strange times and world we live in, please feel free to reach out. Tell me about some of your experiences, fears, everyday life that maybe you feel family or even friends may judge you on. If you want to get something off your chest, my proverbial shoulder and ear is here for you. Sometimes a complete stranger is the best person to talk to. Though hopefully at the same time, I’m not a stranger, having shared a bit of my life with you in my writings.

Take care folks. Much love.

Published by Paul Geppert

I have a wide range of interests, ranging from the kitchen to the garage, from race tracks to the ocean. I enjoy new adventures and challenges. I grew up in Johannesburg, South Africa with my mother and father and older sister. I now live in Auckland New Zealand with my wife and son.

One thought on “Ramblings

  1. I really enjoyed this one Paul. Well done and keep it up. Regarding your side-hustle … YES do not give up. Keep going! Influencers take a long time to build a following as well … we just see the end result of it! Nothing in life comes easy. And I see that the more energy you put in the more you get out (I don’t have much time either … and I can see the dip … but you just need to learn to apply your time correctly to everything). I also want to write a novel. SO let’s see who does it first!!! There is your AND my incentive to START. I have never been afraid of being judged like you are. .. my fear comes from … what if the story is so boring or bad that nobody wants to read it hahaha! The race is on!


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